Communication is at the heart of relationships. After the initial excitement wares off, is when things take a little more consideration. We’ve all heard about the “honeymoon period”. It doesn’t have to be that way. Connection is everything and maintaining it will make your relationship better. Consider how differently you react when you’re feeling disconnected.

We will take steps to understand the disconnect, rebuild connection and create a deeper bond. It’s not easy, but there are simple tools to repair what brought you to seek help. You can achieve deeper connection and greater joy in your relationship with concerted effort by both parties.

Relationships are based on trust. We all want to feel safe, seen and heard. The connection between two people is based on communication and only a small percentage of that is about words. Your tone of voice and even body language informs your partner in ways you might not intend. These aspects create an observable atmosphere, that impacts how we relate to one another.

Physical contact has a very important impact on how we view our interactions. Skin to skin contact has a measurable benefit on how we feel about our partner. If you are holding hands, gently stroking your partners hair and making love regularly, it supports deeper connection on a biological level. With deeper connection comes greater patience. Patience enhances compassion and understanding to achieve more productive communication.

The first step to avert an argument is to pause when heightened exchanges occur. Take a deep breath or two before responding. Not only will this help reregulate your nervous system, but also gives a moment to collect your thoughts, to prevent defensive, reactionary statements being blurted out. Just because your partner is upset, doesn’t mean you need to be. Chances are the upset has a deeper origin that has nothing to do with you. Remaining calm in that situation is a gift to your partner, allowing them to be as they are; without judgement. From this place anger can deescalate, because you are holding space for your partner when they most need it. This is an opportunity for repair of that deeper origin. Holding your partner, physically or figuratively has healing benefits. Holding space for the deeper emotional experience is key to a deeper, fuller connection in the relationship and with yourself.